Nightmares or night terrors: what's the difference?

A nightmare and a night terror look alike from the hallway, but they're two different phenomena. A nightmare is a bad dream: the child wakes up, is frightened, and remembers it. A night terror happens early in the night, the child seems agitated but isn't really awake and keeps no memory of it. Both are common and, most often, harmless.

Before getting into detail, one note: Tilibou isn't a medical site. What follows draws on the explanations of health authorities to help you see more clearly. None of these lines replace the advice of your doctor or pediatrician, whom you should turn to if in doubt.

What is a nightmare?

A bad dream, quite simply. Health authorities define it this way: nightmares are dreams that cause fear. They occur mainly during REM sleep and fully wake the child, who remembers them the next day. It's that last part that matters: the child really is awake, aware of having dreamed, and can often tell you what frightened them.

According to health authorities, nightmares are most frequent between ages 3 and 6, and they can be triggered in particular by occasional stress. A busy day, a strong emotion, a striking image: all are possible small causes. Nothing abnormal at this age.

What is a night terror?

This is very different, and often more impressive for the parent than for the child. Health authorities explain: night terrors occur during deep sleep with a partial arousal, mainly early in the night. During the episode, the child is agitated with visible signs of fear. They may start to scream, and seem inconsolable. They are difficult to reassure.

The key point: the child isn't really awake. And in the morning, nothing. This episode ends abruptly: the child falls back asleep and, on waking, has no memory of what happened, health authorities note. That's what most clearly distinguishes a terror from a nightmare. According to health authorities, night terrors generally appear before age 4 and affect about 40% of children under 6.

How to tell them apart at a glance?

A few markers, drawn from the descriptions of health authorities, to place yourself in the moment:

1. The timing: a terror comes mainly early in the night; a nightmare mainly later in the night, during REM sleep.
2. The arousal: after a nightmare, the child is fully awake; during a terror, they are only partially aroused.
3. The memory: the child remembers their nightmare the next day; they have no memory of a night terror.
4. The contact: after a nightmare, you can reassure them; during a terror, "they are difficult to reassure."

Both phenomena are part of what health authorities call parasomnias, "common in children." And they reassure: in most cases, these "are harmless and tend to disappear over time."

What do authorities say about how to respond?

On this point, we simply relay the authorities, without adding anything. For a nightmare, health authorities are brief: if your child has a nightmare, they need you to reassure them so they can fall back asleep. Your calm presence is often enough.

For a night terror, the message is different and important to know: don't try to wake them, but move away any nearby objects that could be dangerous in case of intense agitation, health authorities write. You keep them safe, you wait for the episode to pass, and you don't try to force them out of their sleep. For the precise course to follow in your case, your doctor remains the right person to ask.

When should you talk to a doctor?

The reflex is simple: at the slightest doubt, and as soon as the situation settles in. Health authorities note that parasomnias "should only be a concern if they become very frequent," and that they can "lastingly disrupt the sleep of the child and the family," in which case "medical care is needed."

So talk to your doctor or pediatrician if the episodes are very frequent, if they come with behaviours that worry you, if they exhaust the family, or simply if you need reassurance. That's exactly what a consultation is for.