Tilibou
New parents: surviving the first nights with your baby
The first nights with a newborn are rarely restful, and that's normal. At birth, a baby makes no difference between day and night: they build their sleep little by little. Understanding this rhythm helps ease the pressure. The goal of these weeks isn't to "sleep through the night", but to get through, gently, together.
Why won't my baby sleep at night?
Quite simply, because they don't yet know that night exists. Health authorities explain it clearly: at birth, a baby makes no difference between day and night. They build their night sleep gradually, adjusting their periods of waking and sleeping. At the start, they may even sleep more during the day than at night. There's nothing abnormal about that.
And they sleep a great deal, in short stretches. Still according to health authorities, newborns sleep a lot, up to 20 hours a day, with variations from one baby to the next. This rest isn't wasted time: it supports the brain's maturation. In other words, these broken nights are part of the invisible work of growing.
Should I worry about night waking?
Most of the time, no. Health authorities note a reassuring point: a baby's night waking isn't always linked to hunger. A baby can wake simply between two cycles, because their sleep is fragile at that moment. Often, they fall back asleep on their own after a few minutes.
When they struggle to settle again and the crying continues, the gentle instinct is the right one. Health authorities then advise reassuring the baby and checking they're comfortable, ideally without taking them out of their bed. As for the night feed, they note that up to 4 or 5 months some babies still need it, after which most children no longer need to eat at night. For everything else, it's your doctor or pediatrician who knows your baby: when in doubt, that's who to turn to.
How can I set gentle markers?
There's no need to aim for a military timetable. The idea is to help your baby gradually tell day from night. Health authorities suggest a few simple gestures, at your own pace:
- Follow their rhythm: put them down at the first signs of sleep (yawning, rubbing their eyes, fussing for no reason).
- Let them sleep as much as they want, without waking them where possible.
- Mark the day/night contrast: a very bright atmosphere by day, dim light at bedtime.
- Reduce noise in the house to make the bedtime separation easier.
- Keep the room calm, aired, around 18 to 20 °C.
One safety marker to know: health authorities state that you should never give your baby medicine to help them fall asleep or sleep longer. And if they cry a lot and it gets too hard, never shake them, but ask for help from those close to you and from your doctor. Asking for help isn't a failure, it's protection.
"Settling in"
A gentle story, screen-free, to leave playing through the long evenings of settling down. For when the big brother or sister also needs a calm moment of their own. The cuddle is you. The voice is Tilibou.
Listen to the episodeAnd us, the parents, how do we hold up?
We talk a lot about a baby's sleep, rarely about the parents'. Yet that's what gives way first. A few simple principles help you get through: sleep when the baby sleeps, even in the middle of the day, without guilt. Take turns at night when you can. Accept that the house will be a mess and that not everything will be perfect for a few weeks.
This phase comes to an end. Health authorities confirm it: it takes a certain amount of time for an infant's sleep to settle into a regular rhythm. Around the fourth month, a baby generally sleeps a little less, often between 14 and 16 hours a day, and sleeps longer at night because they're hungry less often. The tunnel brightens, at their own pace. In the meantime, be as gentle with yourselves as with your baby.
When should I ask a professional for advice?
A newborn's difficult nights are the norm, not a problem to fix. But you don't have to carry it alone. If your baby's sleep worries you, if the tiredness becomes overwhelming, if you feel swamped or low, talk about it. Your doctor, your pediatrician, a community health service or a midwife are there for that, and they know your situation better than an article.
Anything that looks like a sleep disorder in an infant is for them to assess, not for self-diagnosis. The right instinct is to put your questions to a professional rather than searching alone in the night. You have the right to be exhausted, and you have the right to be helped.
The questions you're asking
When does a baby start sleeping through the night?
It varies a great deal from one child to the next. Health authorities note that an infant's sleep takes a certain amount of time to settle into a regular rhythm, and that around the fourth month a baby often sleeps longer at night because they're hungry less often. There's no cut-off age: every baby builds their rhythm in their own way.
Should I wake my baby at night to feed them?
This is a question for your doctor or pediatrician, as it depends on your baby's age and situation. As a general rule, health authorities note that it's better to let a baby sleep as much as they want, without waking them where possible. If in doubt about night feeding, follow the advice of the professional who looks after your child.
My baby often wakes between two cycles, is that serious?
No, it's common. According to health authorities, a baby can wake between two cycles because their sleep is fragile at that moment, and they often fall back asleep on their own after a few minutes. If the crying continues, you can reassure them by checking they're fine, ideally without taking them out of their bed.